new guys

so our higher recently changed out. they're driving me nuts changing everything, and generally making me work longer than normal. today was a good example. they decided to have to an exercise in the morning. the one morning when i usually sleep til noon, and they want to have me up and about doing commo checks. hey retards, we've been using our commo assets to run missions while you guys have been setting yourselves up! anyway, enough about that.

i got the box dad and mom sent me a while back. i've been a little distracted so it hasn't come up. the movies are cool. every once in a while, i get to kick back and watch something so...nice. i don't do chocolate, but my cooworkers loved the tootsie rolls. i'll toss them one, and they return a nice smile :) some of them discovered the kit-kats, and just about started a fight over them. i tried to tell them i was saving them for sometime special, but they just complained about me not sharing. they don't seem to get the idea that i'll be happy to share once i actually decide to start eating them. anyway...

as february comes to an end, i sense the weather's going to be getting warmer soon. it's a shame, cause i kinda like the way the weather's been; chilly in the morning and temperate during the day. summer's going to suck.

one more night hating officers for the extra work they generate...one more night being grateful for the little things...one more night listening to techno while i blog...

with an open heart
knowing deep inside
you left a trail of love behind
can i follow in your footsteps
like a golden star
that's the way you shine
you paved a road that's so divine
can i follow in your footsteps
- dj encoure, follow in your footsteps

singing

so everyone that knows me knows i love to sing; just not when others are around. they like to complain a lot (especially the bunch i'm with now). a few days ago i managed to be the only one in our 'room' of 6. i figured i'd just throw on some headphones and sing along with my favorite songs. what came out was atrocious. i don't know if it was the lack of practice or that i don't sound as much like haley williams as i thought (man, she can sing). so lesson learned: practice, practice, practice; even if it's just for myself. back in the states that's easy due to all the commuting i do. here though...

things have been a little busier than usual the last few days. a new group came in, and they're messing up everything that was perfectly good before they got here. this happens with every unit in the military. the new guys want to distinguish themselves from the old guys. i think it's mostly officers trying to get something good put on their evaluations, but that doesn't make it any less painful for everyone else. one more reason i'll never be an officer.

well, i need to get back to work. one more night in endless meetings...one more night of short sleep as i have to get up dark and early tomorrow...one more night wishing i could sing really, really loud...i mean on the verge of screaming singing...it feels so good pushing your voice that hard...

cold?

the weather's been crazy lately. it's actually chilly outside! the temperature's a little over freezing and the wind's blowing like pretty hard. i can't imagine what the people in the mountains are going through. not that i'm complaining. i like my seasons; this is just a little unexpected.

the last couple days before it got cold, it was nice (or at least what i consider nice). it rained for 2 days! considering that's the second time i've seen it rain here, i find that rather impressive. and i loved it.

when it cleared, i got grumpy cause the sun came out...that infernal ball of gas in the sky! i swear i'm like the opposite of what we're all told to be like. i like it cloudy, and rainy when i'm outside. i like it dark and windowless when i'm inside.

one of the people i'm here with recalled when she'd seen me in my natural environment (back at our computer shop in indy). she said it was dark, i had a dark desktop, and was listening to dark music. ah...fond memories. it's like i'm drawn to things that are depressing. the beautifully depressing things...

i'm reminded of the silmarilian by j. r. r. tolken. the world he created draws some fairly accurate parallels with our world. the god character had what parallels to angels that would sing constantly. the song they sung was the history of the physical world, and they sang reality into existence. the devil character and his minions didn't like that so they sung dissonance into the song. but even the dissonance when mixed with the angel's song, was beautiful. and so all the evil designs were twisted into the divine purpose, and came to good.

all those things i'm supposed to hate: the dark, the rain, the clouds, the depressing music...i wouldn't say they bring a smile to my face, but they please me. there's a place for everything.

well...i've rambled on enough. wish me more rain that i may dance in it.