perspective

well, it's been a couple weeks. things have been busy as usual, but i finally got a day off (or most of one anyway). things have been going quite well for me since i've returned to the place no one wants to be.

this includes the afghans; they leave the country when they're able as well. it makes reconstruction extremely difficult when your trained, upper tier work force doesn't want to stick around to create their own businesses and thus jobs. if the current trends continue, i fear afghanistan will be forever doomed to the agrarian state they're now in.

but back to what i was going to talk about.... being home gave me some much needed perspective. the unit survived without me for 3 weeks. i say survived because it clearly didn't fair as well as it would have had i been here. so i'm not critical, but am off great value. this realization has caused me to not be so obsessed with work. there are certain tasks that will still be around to do the next day and don't necessarily require immediate attention. my work might be going a little slower than before due to this, but at least it's getting done faster than if wasn't here at all. i've basically given myself more me time.

for the last week or so i've been using this extra free time to take a combatives class. they basically teach you how to fight. for those of you that are curious about the specifics, they use jiu jitsu for grappling and ground fighting, and muay thai for striking or when you're not right on someone. the class is exhausting, but fun. after 3 hours of intense exertion i find i'm too tired to be angry at anything...like, say the people in my unit that tend to upset me. it's also a lot easier to go to sleep at night...well, when i get over the pain of whatever got hurt. a little pain every now and then isn't so bad though; it reminds you you're still alive.

anyway, the fighting with the perspective have made me quite a bit happier than i was before. any of you that know rather well could probably read between the lines to see i was a bit depressed before. now i'm mostly tired...and sore...which is much better.

well, i've got more class tonight so i'm going to wrap this up and try to enjoy what free time i have. catch you all later.

back

well...i'm back at salerno; safe and sound. amazingly enough, people here missed me so i guess i must be doing my job well enough that they noticed when i wasn't.

i also missed one of my new friends (since i've been here). mr. kim lively (yes, he has a girl's name), our USDA guy is pretty cool. we happened to schedule our leave consecutively. he was getting back when i was leaving so i hadn't seen him in 6 weeks. it was great to catch dinner with him and laugh at a few jokes. you have to make jokes and laugh out here or you'll go crazy. i've seen it happen to one of our guys. he snaps at people for minor offenses. it's not fun to watch.

well, i need to get back to cleaning up my room, and prepping my gear. i've got a long day of work waiting for me tomorrow.

laterz

the 4th

independence day used to be a minor annoyance as the neighbors would set off little fire starters and smoke up the street. but that's what kids (or adults that seem to think they're kids) do right? there was always the big pretty display in the evening so it wasn't so horrible.

in retrospect, i probably should have picked another time to be home. while i understand the explosions i hear are just fireworks, i still get nervous. i start wondering what happened; should i go help someone? i make a quick assessment of the structural integrity of whatever structure i'm in; would it stand up to a rocket? if i'm not in some sort of building, i catch myself looking around for one...preferably one with solid walls and no windows. i'm hoping in time, this will pass. i guess i'll see this time next year.

vacation hasn't all been fireworks though. the first week and a half were spent relaxing and getting some perspective. that place 1/2 way around the world that's dominated my life for the last half a year seems so far off and insignificant from the states. how could anyone here understand what it's like?

perhaps it's better that they don't. if americans understood nice and sheltered we are over here, perhaps they'd settle with what we have. war isn't on our doorstep.

perhaps if they saw the corruption that permeates the afghan government, they'd accept what we see here as an inevitable part of maintaining order.

yes, america has a pretty good thing going. but this is no time to slack off. we've been politically asleep for far too long. wake up you slumbering giant; shake off the chains of tyranny emplaced while we were asleep. the revolution is coming, and i certainly won't try to stop it. for a couple weeks i've once again heard the drums of change. the beat is inspiring and challenging. it calls to me; tells me to keep the violence that's so prevalent in other places at bay. the larger the group of revolutionaries, the less likely things will end in blood and tears. how many will make their voices heard? as always, time will tell.