day off

so last sunday, the unit decided to go on mission. working on a day that you've gotten used to having off is rough. there's something immensely relaxing about sleeping in at least one day of the week. well, today i'm going to make up for it by doing absolutely nothing. as long as no emergencies pop up, i expect this plan to work out flawlessly.

i got the package from grandpa and grandma johnson yesterday. mmm...snacks. i doubt you'll be reading this directly, but thanks.

it's really starting to get warm out. it's like 90 degrees outside. people are starting to lay off the outdoor activities. i ran down to the post's coffee shop for a smoothie, and it's so much more tasty with this heat. i'm glad our rooms are air conditioned.

last week, someone thought it would be a bright idea to send me out on mission. it's one thing to be running around the country side doing something constructive, but there's absolutely nothing i can currently do to improve things out there. as bad as it sounds, my place is in the rear (on base) providing support. i know a lot of soldiers aren't horribly worried about what i do here, but there would be a lot of leaders left in the dark without my help keeping their computer systems up and running.

the battlefield has changed so much in the last few decades. hell, even in the last few years. most people don't know the internet was initially developed for the military. now we're using many of the innovations coming from enterprising young people to communicate better, faster, and more securely. funny how things have come full circle. we even use civilians for a lot of the more technical support tasks. the entire computer help desk is comprised of civilians (or at least the ones that know what they're doing are civilians). soldiers are trained for other things.

well, that's enough rambling for now. i've got a day of lounging to enjoy...

return of the artillery

those of you who have followed my blog for a while (or that have read my older posts) will remember me talking about the loud, booming noises that go off pretty much whenever. well, this last week they resumed with the booming. for about a month previously, it had been rather quiet...something about too much collateral damage. thankfully, they changed their minds and are now back to delivering big exploding packages right in the taliban's laps. sure it's noisy and wakes me up in the middle of the night, but it makes me feel so much better knowing my fellow servicemen are getting the support they need. keep up the good work boys, and blow the hell out of your targets.

i got the package from aunt susie...ok, i don't actually remember when it arrived...i've been kind of busy and unable to get to the internet so these things escape me. anyway, the bottle of spices...brilliant! now my food can get some much needed flavor; i swear they're hiding bags of the stuff in the back. maybe if i asked them for a side of flavor....

anyway, i'm feeling rather drained from today's events, and need some chill time. i'll write a few more lines later.

one more night thinking of food (again!)...one more night on a dark fob (new moon)...one more night listening to the typical tunes...

yesterday while walking beneath an overpass
i saw the figure of jesus standing barefoot on broken glass
his beard was dragging, smell of urine filled the air
asking for some change, anything that i could spare
emaciated, his shaking fists balled up
influenza and pneumonia, begging god to take his cup
so different from his pictures, breathing air through yellow tubes
jesus christ dying of aids can see right through you
- brave saint saturn, 'under bridges'

moquito season

well, the temperature is slowly rising. i don't expect to see temperatures below freezing in our remaining time here; it's so sad. as it gets warmer, the bugs and animals will start to get more frisky too. the nice thing about below freezing temperatures is it makes all those things die, or hibernate, or otherwise not bother people. as such, i've resumed taking the malaria meds they gave us. not that it makes it impossible to catch malaria; just a little harder. i don't want people to worry, but we're in the part of the country with the highest malaria incidence rates (for soldiers anyway). so if anyone happens to have a spare bug zapper they're not using, i have power outlets. *cough* hint *cough*.

it seems the new guys have some decent volleyball players. i ran over to the post courts today (not that they're that spectacular, but they work), and got in on a few games. it was way better than when i've tried playing with the guys from my unit. they're not good...at all...and there's a decent chance you'll get hurt from them coming over the net and smacking you...or kneeing you, or elbowing you...you get the idea.

hey ashley. welcome to the blog. the main thing i enjoy right now is snacks. nuts work well, or the canned chicken and fish was pretty good. basically, anything that doesn't spoil quickly. one of my roomates got a microwave now, so i can pop over there and nuke something if i have to. it doesn't rotate what it's zapping though, so anything that requires that sort of thing (like popcorn) is probably not a good idea. the last time he tried to make popcorn, he just about caught the bag on fire. that would have sucked; burning down our living space. it wouldn't take long either as just about everything in here is made of wood.

anyway, i'm going to pop in a pirated copy of 'avatar', and chill. one of the perks about being in the middle of nowhere: no one cares enough to come after you for pirating stuff. i get the feeling being in a war zone has a bit of a deterring effect as well.

one more night dreading the approach of summer...one more night being grateful for the little things...one more night listening to my music...

i know that you can change the future
i know that we can make it happen
in my head there is a riot
and i don't think that i can fight it
'cause we have had enough
all the violence has touched
every part of our lives
our innocence is gone tonight
-papa roach, 'had enough'

hot

and not in a good way like chicks. according to the weather report, it only got up to 70 degrees, but i don't believe them. or maybe it was all that gear we have to wear around here. in any case, i got hot...i hate being hot. i want to go with the last group that just left here and went to alaska. now that sounds nice. or even back home would be ok with it's highs in maybe the 40s. for all you majority types that like it hot and worship the sun, you can come over here and have it. summer's going to suck hard :(

oh yeah, i tried some of the canned chicken and tuna that got sent to me. all i have to say about that is: yummy. that stuff beats the chow hall by miles. thanks guys.

we had out first mandatory fun day last weekend. for those of you that aren't too familiar with the army, mandatory fun day is when they schedule some random, supposedly fun event and force everyone to show up...and you'll have a good time, or else... at least it's not back in the states where they can make you bring your family too. being the team's technical support, they thought it would be funny to have me set up movies and popcorn. both were a flop as people decided to stay outside. tomorrow morning i'll need to make a dumpster run to get rid of the 1/2 bag (and i mean like a big trash bag) of popcorn that's left over and getting staler as i type. it did make for a better dinner than the chow hall when it was fresh though. thank you 'morale welfare and recreation' (MWR).

why is everything about food tonight? i guess i must be bitter about the crap i had for dinner. i ditched the main line entirely and went for the 'chinese' food they had in the secondary line. what i would give for a panda express or that little chinese mom and pop store that used to be next to work...that place was awesome!

anyway, i'm going to wrap this up before i depress myself too much thinking about real food.

one more night trying to decide if i want to break into my stash of peanuts...one more night hoping it'll stay cold just a little longer...one more night listening to some tunes while i blog...

turn my mic up louder, i got to say somethin'
light weight step it aside, when we comin'
feel it in your chest, the syllables get pumpin'
people on the street, they panic and start runnin'
words on loose leaf, sheet complete comin'
i jump on my mind, i summon the rhyme of dumpin'
feeling the blind, i promise to let the sun in
sick of the dark ways, we march to the drummin'
jump when they tell us they want to see jumpin'
screw that, I want to see some fists pumpin'
risk something, take back what's yours
say something that you know they might attack you for
'cause i'm sick of being treated like i have before
like i'm stupid standing for what i'm standing for
like this war is really just a different brand of war
like it doesn't cater to rich and abandon poor...
- linkin park, hands held high

new guys

so our higher recently changed out. they're driving me nuts changing everything, and generally making me work longer than normal. today was a good example. they decided to have to an exercise in the morning. the one morning when i usually sleep til noon, and they want to have me up and about doing commo checks. hey retards, we've been using our commo assets to run missions while you guys have been setting yourselves up! anyway, enough about that.

i got the box dad and mom sent me a while back. i've been a little distracted so it hasn't come up. the movies are cool. every once in a while, i get to kick back and watch something so...nice. i don't do chocolate, but my cooworkers loved the tootsie rolls. i'll toss them one, and they return a nice smile :) some of them discovered the kit-kats, and just about started a fight over them. i tried to tell them i was saving them for sometime special, but they just complained about me not sharing. they don't seem to get the idea that i'll be happy to share once i actually decide to start eating them. anyway...

as february comes to an end, i sense the weather's going to be getting warmer soon. it's a shame, cause i kinda like the way the weather's been; chilly in the morning and temperate during the day. summer's going to suck.

one more night hating officers for the extra work they generate...one more night being grateful for the little things...one more night listening to techno while i blog...

with an open heart
knowing deep inside
you left a trail of love behind
can i follow in your footsteps
like a golden star
that's the way you shine
you paved a road that's so divine
can i follow in your footsteps
- dj encoure, follow in your footsteps

singing

so everyone that knows me knows i love to sing; just not when others are around. they like to complain a lot (especially the bunch i'm with now). a few days ago i managed to be the only one in our 'room' of 6. i figured i'd just throw on some headphones and sing along with my favorite songs. what came out was atrocious. i don't know if it was the lack of practice or that i don't sound as much like haley williams as i thought (man, she can sing). so lesson learned: practice, practice, practice; even if it's just for myself. back in the states that's easy due to all the commuting i do. here though...

things have been a little busier than usual the last few days. a new group came in, and they're messing up everything that was perfectly good before they got here. this happens with every unit in the military. the new guys want to distinguish themselves from the old guys. i think it's mostly officers trying to get something good put on their evaluations, but that doesn't make it any less painful for everyone else. one more reason i'll never be an officer.

well, i need to get back to work. one more night in endless meetings...one more night of short sleep as i have to get up dark and early tomorrow...one more night wishing i could sing really, really loud...i mean on the verge of screaming singing...it feels so good pushing your voice that hard...

cold?

the weather's been crazy lately. it's actually chilly outside! the temperature's a little over freezing and the wind's blowing like pretty hard. i can't imagine what the people in the mountains are going through. not that i'm complaining. i like my seasons; this is just a little unexpected.

the last couple days before it got cold, it was nice (or at least what i consider nice). it rained for 2 days! considering that's the second time i've seen it rain here, i find that rather impressive. and i loved it.

when it cleared, i got grumpy cause the sun came out...that infernal ball of gas in the sky! i swear i'm like the opposite of what we're all told to be like. i like it cloudy, and rainy when i'm outside. i like it dark and windowless when i'm inside.

one of the people i'm here with recalled when she'd seen me in my natural environment (back at our computer shop in indy). she said it was dark, i had a dark desktop, and was listening to dark music. ah...fond memories. it's like i'm drawn to things that are depressing. the beautifully depressing things...

i'm reminded of the silmarilian by j. r. r. tolken. the world he created draws some fairly accurate parallels with our world. the god character had what parallels to angels that would sing constantly. the song they sung was the history of the physical world, and they sang reality into existence. the devil character and his minions didn't like that so they sung dissonance into the song. but even the dissonance when mixed with the angel's song, was beautiful. and so all the evil designs were twisted into the divine purpose, and came to good.

all those things i'm supposed to hate: the dark, the rain, the clouds, the depressing music...i wouldn't say they bring a smile to my face, but they please me. there's a place for everything.

well...i've rambled on enough. wish me more rain that i may dance in it.