choppers

helicopters are a regular part of life here. if you go a day without seeing at least 5 flying around, it's a slow day. they run medevacs, they haul supplies, they provide air support, and they transport troops. our unit uses choppers to do missions that are distant from the FOB. this week it was decided (for me) that i should go on one of these missions. some lame excuse like it would be good for my development was used. never mind everything else i was doing at the time. i'm one of the busiest people in the unit, and they want to drag me out to the middle of nowhere because in some way they can't explain it'll be good for me.

the day they told me i was going had been a good day up to that point. i'd been running around all day fixing things. fixing things always makes me feel better; i mean, it's my job so i should be happy when i do it right? in this case, it was fixing another communication system our guys have when they're out and about. redundancy is good, very good. then they told me i was going out, and my whole day reversed itself. i went back to the foul mood 1/2 the unit's assumed at this point. things are so depressing here. it's even worse when you know the depressing parts are unnecessary; doled out by the very people that are supposed to be helping.

at least today was good. there's a ton of work i need to catch up on (especially after losing a day running around playing infantry), but i took the day off. one more week and my 'second' will be back. maybe i'll catch up on the work then. i really needed the break today though. not having to see certain people does amazing things for my mood; even if it's only for a day.

for those of you that read this and are the praying types, pray for patience and endurance. the whole unit could use more of these traits, and they're the characteristics that will get us though this deployment with our sanity intact. i've been worrying about my soldier's sanity a lot recently. i know i'll stay sane, but being angry and depressed all the time isn't good for me.

one more day off over...one more week down...one day closer to my leave (whoo)...one more night listening to some kickin' toons...

won't you see it in your heart
don't you know you played your part real good
won't you see it in your heart, you should
know you always played your part real good
in the end, i'll be there, i'll be standing by your side
we will see how the tide hides away all the dirt
that's something to die for, that's something to die for
- carolina liar 'something to die for'

blog fail

i tried posting something earlier and my internet died. i'm taking it as a sign from god that i shouldn't post things like that. it was pretty depressing; a bit more depressing than things actually are. so that old depressing thing can rest in peace. i don't really have much to replace it with though so...we'll call this the inadequate replacement and move along. nothing to see here...this is not the post you're looking for....

well, back to doing nothing for a bit. and it will be wonderful.

another week

another week bites the dust, and the natives are getting restless. for the locals, that means it's getting warmer and they can attack us more. for the unit, it means people are really starting to feel the deployment. spending so much time around the same people has a tendency to grind on you, and faults are amplified. people taking leave should alleviate some of that, but just how much remains to be seen.

speaking of leave, my 'second' is going on leave this week. i'm sure that'll mean more work for me, and no one to pass stuff on to. i guess i've always been sort of alone being the only IT person in the unit, but at least before i had someone i could give simple tasks to. we'll see how things go.

well...this is going to be a short one as i'm not in a chatty mood today for some reason. i'll write again in a few....

tell the swine we will make it out alive
there's a note in the pages of the book
so sleep tonight; sleep dreamlessly this time
when we awake we'll know that everything's alright
then sing to me about the end of the world
end of these hammers and needles for you
hold on to the world we all remember fighting for
there's some strength left in us yet
hold on to the world we all remember dying for
there's some hope left in it yet
- flyleaf, 'arise'

birthday

i try to keep my birthdays under wraps, but our personnel sergeant posted a list of everyone's birthdays (to include year) on her door. that pretty much made it impossible to keep it a secret. i went into work on friday and the commander made it a point to find me and wish me a happy birthday. for the rest of the day, the sergeant major made it a point to quietly sing happy birthday whenever he passed me too. it was pretty ridiculous. if there would have truly been something special about it, maybe it would have been ok. but alas, i'm still in a war zone and it was a normal work day. not to mention i'm getting old...i especially feel that way around all these youngsters. one of them asked me how old i was, and i asked if almost dead was an age. i can claim that right?

anyway, i got the package from dad and mom this week. the CDs are awesome; flyleaf and fireflight rock! the snacks are pretty cool too. one of the chilli cans broke open, but i managed to clean most of the stuff up. some of the letters take some extra care with chilli on them, but that does make things interesting. all those people with normal looking mail are boring.

well, i'm going to get back to enjoying my day off. i hear there's volleyball to be played a little later. it's pretty hot (90s) for it, but i'll take what i can get.

hoping with each new day
i'm moving forward, i push the fear away
and i let go
'cause i'm so through with barely hanging on
leaving what's in the past behind
i come closer to crossing over the line
and i won't stop
until i get what i've been fighting for
you've said it all before
tell me again that i am strong
tell me again that i won't fall
i need you here to fix me where i'm wrong
take me beyond what i can see
break me, make me believe
you have made me all i need to be
- fireflight 'all i need to be'

leave

i know i told everyone i wasn't coming home until i was all done out here, and i continued to think that up until last week. now the unit assures me they can live without me for a bit so...i'll be heading home for a couple weeks in late june. i hope they'll be ok while i'm gone; it makes me nervous to leave them. i guess one of two things will be realized when i get back to the not so fun place: either the unit will have been fine and they'll be more willing to let me skip out on work, or things will have not gone so well and they'll appreciate me more. i guess we'll see.

that's the major thing that's been going on with me. things are getting more and more routine as time goes by. i'm even managing to get a few new projects off the ground, and make some real improvements to our IT infrastructure. this is truly a weird feeling as i've always subscribed to the 'if it isn't broken, don't fix it' mentality. making improvements doesn't fit into that too well (or it gets put on the back-burner). could this mean i'm running out of things to do? that would be a weird feeling too as it seems i've been go go go since i got here.

well, i've got an early morning tomorrow so i'll get going.

one more night loving the evening for it's relief from the heat...one more night contemplating whether to dig into some snacks...one more night rocking out with my tunes...

oh johnny wishes he was famous
spends his time alone in the basement
with lenon and cobain and a guitar and a stereo
and while he wishes he could escape this
but it all seems so contagious
not be yourself and faceless with a song that has no soul
- our lady peace 'innocent'

day off

so last sunday, the unit decided to go on mission. working on a day that you've gotten used to having off is rough. there's something immensely relaxing about sleeping in at least one day of the week. well, today i'm going to make up for it by doing absolutely nothing. as long as no emergencies pop up, i expect this plan to work out flawlessly.

i got the package from grandpa and grandma johnson yesterday. mmm...snacks. i doubt you'll be reading this directly, but thanks.

it's really starting to get warm out. it's like 90 degrees outside. people are starting to lay off the outdoor activities. i ran down to the post's coffee shop for a smoothie, and it's so much more tasty with this heat. i'm glad our rooms are air conditioned.

last week, someone thought it would be a bright idea to send me out on mission. it's one thing to be running around the country side doing something constructive, but there's absolutely nothing i can currently do to improve things out there. as bad as it sounds, my place is in the rear (on base) providing support. i know a lot of soldiers aren't horribly worried about what i do here, but there would be a lot of leaders left in the dark without my help keeping their computer systems up and running.

the battlefield has changed so much in the last few decades. hell, even in the last few years. most people don't know the internet was initially developed for the military. now we're using many of the innovations coming from enterprising young people to communicate better, faster, and more securely. funny how things have come full circle. we even use civilians for a lot of the more technical support tasks. the entire computer help desk is comprised of civilians (or at least the ones that know what they're doing are civilians). soldiers are trained for other things.

well, that's enough rambling for now. i've got a day of lounging to enjoy...

return of the artillery

those of you who have followed my blog for a while (or that have read my older posts) will remember me talking about the loud, booming noises that go off pretty much whenever. well, this last week they resumed with the booming. for about a month previously, it had been rather quiet...something about too much collateral damage. thankfully, they changed their minds and are now back to delivering big exploding packages right in the taliban's laps. sure it's noisy and wakes me up in the middle of the night, but it makes me feel so much better knowing my fellow servicemen are getting the support they need. keep up the good work boys, and blow the hell out of your targets.

i got the package from aunt susie...ok, i don't actually remember when it arrived...i've been kind of busy and unable to get to the internet so these things escape me. anyway, the bottle of spices...brilliant! now my food can get some much needed flavor; i swear they're hiding bags of the stuff in the back. maybe if i asked them for a side of flavor....

anyway, i'm feeling rather drained from today's events, and need some chill time. i'll write a few more lines later.

one more night thinking of food (again!)...one more night on a dark fob (new moon)...one more night listening to the typical tunes...

yesterday while walking beneath an overpass
i saw the figure of jesus standing barefoot on broken glass
his beard was dragging, smell of urine filled the air
asking for some change, anything that i could spare
emaciated, his shaking fists balled up
influenza and pneumonia, begging god to take his cup
so different from his pictures, breathing air through yellow tubes
jesus christ dying of aids can see right through you
- brave saint saturn, 'under bridges'